Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
