She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I would fuck him just for his dog
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