you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
