dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
