It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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