There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
