better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
