I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize