He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize