the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
