so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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