is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
