We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
