Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
