Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
