we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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