Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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