i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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