How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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