the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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