And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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