Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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