Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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