Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
