This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
