sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
