Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
