Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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