Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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