We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
