I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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