Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I bet he comes in French.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
