It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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