Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
