i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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