i would one night stand the shit outta him
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
