I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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