It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
