Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
