Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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