I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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