Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
