butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
one might say we're banned from that church
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
