I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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