What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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