I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They took my balls.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize