Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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