She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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