Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
