If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize