Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
