And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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