Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
