I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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