I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
