So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
