and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
