Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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