my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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