Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
