My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
