Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
