Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
