We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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