she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
