great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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