I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
