I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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