the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
