I got chris browned last night
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
