I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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