Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
